Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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