apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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