Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
