he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
