Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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