No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
