Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
D3 body, D1 cock
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
