Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
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