I think im going to throw up on grandma
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I need a burrito and a hug.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
