Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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