I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
