Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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