I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
