You're earring is so big in my mouth
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
