She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
