ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
