Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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