i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
