Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
