i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
