Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
