I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
