Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
