1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
