haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
