the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
