Small penises have feelings too.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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