He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
