Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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