I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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