I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
