We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
