the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
