PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
