Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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