What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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