Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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