someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
