Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
