Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
