so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
