My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
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Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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