Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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