apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
