AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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