well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
