i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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