If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
