walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
