you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize