you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize