guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
