I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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