I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
