butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
