We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
