thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We were destined to go to rehab together
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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